AMA: How I maintain a strong marriage + what I'm struggling with right now

PLUS: are more kids in our future?

Happy Friday, flow-ers!

I’m back after a weekend away (did you miss me last week?!) and we had the best time ever! It was a major departure for us because it was a winter ski trip that was hosted by Silver Star. We aren’t a skiing fam, but honestly, now we are! I absolutely want to do this annually. It was amazing and I loved being all cozy in the cabin (this is where we stayed), fire going, hot tub ready, mimosas, annnd we went with our friend and her son, so the kids played, had new adventures together (Lola had never been tubing or skiing, and my girl loves trying new things and is a huge thrill seeker). I highly recommend doing something like this and even better with you mom friends!

OK, so now we are all caught up?

Make sure you listen to this post using the button at the top of the post because I read it to you and we have some good chats along the way. It’s like a podcast and the perfect thing to listen to while you drive, commute or move your body!

This week, let’s do a Q&A AMA! I asked on my IG what you’d like to hear about, so let’s do it, shall we?

What is Lola’s fave toys at this age?

I find toys honestly kinda overwhelming. There are so many options, they are everywhere, and they don’t play with them for long. We don’t buy very much at all (I’ve been a Lovevery ambassador since she was a newborn so they send a quarterly box which is amazing - she loves the toys and books and we play with them for months! Highly reco for a gift). At 4.5, she loves Lion King figurines, remote car, colouring and drawing. She Loves the Floor is Lava game and Kerplunk. Here is where I keep some of the recent things I buy for her! Oh, and a big hack is to get some bath toys and markers because gf will stay in that bath for like hours - great activity.

How do you keep calm with a toddler?

The rest of this question said: I go crazy with the non-listening/distractedness when on the go. So relatable! I am defo not always the most patient mom and am a bit strict. I don’t pretend to know it all, but I feel like I have stronger boundaries with what I’ll put up with and that means she doesn’t try to get away with as much. I do find the older they get, the easier it is. But giving her info and prepping her for what we will be doing is helpful - and doing countdown clocks, 5 minute warnings, etc. makes her move faster. That said, it’s often a lot of reminding, repeating, but she knows my patience isn’t endless and when mom is serious. I don’t choose the permissive parenting style let’s say. I’ve also learned that when I yell, it takes more time because she will cry and it’s harder to recover!

What are you struggling with right now?

I love this question. I’d say self-confidence is a struggle for me right now. I find myself confused about what my voice is and what value I bring, and I’m seriously questioning my career path. I’ve learned what’s important to me, what I don’t want to put up with or have in my life, but the marketing industry is really challenging right now because of the economy and the smoke and mirrors clouding up what is real and what is noise.

Did Lola go through a terrible meltdown stage?

Oh my god yes. 3-4 was literally the worst year ever. It got dark! I have never cried so much and it made me question everything! The tantrums were insurmountable like nothing worked. I tried every tip. The sweet, happy moments were few and far between! I’m so glad that’s over and if you’re in the thick of it, I promise you’ll forget what it felt like, but in the moment, it feels like you’re being tested in a huge way.

How were the ski lessons?

Absolutely the best! Lola is always keen to try new things, and she skied for 2.5 hours, no issue at all. I will never forget when I went to get her after, and she RAN over to me with the most proud look on her face. I love that new activities like this give her such a sense of confidence and accomplishment. Cannot wait to get her out there again.

How do you and Roberto maintain such a strong and loving connection?

Thanks for the compliment! It’s super important to me that we are putting each other first and are considerate to each other - for instance, we always want to make sure we get rests, sleep-ins, never feel pressure to ‘perform’. Like he’s never made me feel guilty about not having dinner sorted for us, or made demands of me, and ditto with him on his stuff, like the laundry. That said, we fight, we get annoyed, we can be hard on each other. But we are best friends, and a team in life. Being attentive and interested is key to a strong connection IMO. As Lola gets older, we are taking more solo trips and nights out which is so important to remember who we are.

What made you realize you only wanted one child?

I struggle with this daily! There are so may pros and cons, but ultimately for the lifestyle we want, one child was the way to go for us. Age, fertility issues, career focus, stress levels… I just wanna know my limit, stay within it, enjoy what we already have and sink into this life of ours. Motherhood is beautiful, but so hard and tiring. I am always openly praising my friends who have multiple kids, bc hats off to you. It’s so beyond the hardest job in the world and I am all about simplicity however we can have that. Of course, I would love another and would love Lola to have a sibling, but it’s a decision I stand by even though if I was honest, I would say that I fear I might regret it one day.

That’s it for this week. If you like this content, don’t forget to show up for me with a like or comment. Hoping to see ya’ll in the comments! Thanks for the comments last week Klaudia, Jen, Carly, Michaela, Matt, Andrea, Kate, Reagan, Jon and Caprice.

xx, Erin

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