Friday Five: Asking for What I Want + Goodbye

PLUS: the soup recipe giving us comfort this week

Happy Friday, flow-ers! Mama is tired over here. It’s been a week. More on that in this week’s post…

P.S: don’t forget to listen to this like a podcast using the article voiceover feature at the top of this post (I read it to you with extra commentary!)

💜 Asking for what you want

When was the last time you asked your partner for what you needed? I find it so easy to get caught up in the day to day, and feelings can just come and go, and we don’t really acknowledge or dig into why we feel the things we do. When I say we, I defo mean me. Look, we all go through ups and downs in our relationships and a few weeks ago we were at each others throats. It’s usually because I get fully annoyed with even the sound of his breathing, but in digging deeper, I realized I wasn’t getting something I needed. So, I asked for it. He is well aware what my love language is, and that’s words of affirmation, but for me it truly goes deeper than that. So much of what I do is invisible and it all looks easy. Seamless. Valuable, but just not easy to spot or maybe put your finger on. I feel that I carry a lot and the effort of it can feel crushing sometimes. I need to feel like it’s seen - I need to hear that I’m doing a great job, but it’s a bit more complex than that, I need to hear specifics. What about it is noticed? For instance, thanks to our chat, and me simply telling him what I need from him to make me feel happier, this is a text he sent me that just made my day because it’s something I work hard at doing.

It actually means everything to me to hear the words. My takeaway is to know that it’s ok to be vulnerable, get curious about why I feel the way I feel, and ask my partner for what I need.

😓 This week was a lot

I’m not going to lie, this week felt like a bit of a struggle. I have not been sleeping well (like waking up early, 4-5am and not really getting back to sleep) which I will say first bc I do feel like sleep is such a huge one for me (and I would say most of us!). Maybe that’s why this week hit different - it felt rocky and challenging. Lots of change with Lola leaving her current daycare, work being busy, Lola having an accident falling off our bench and smacking her chin, a doctors appointment and getting some not so great news, but like also so much good. Roberto and I connecting and getting on an emotionally solid track, a few new clients I’m SO excited about, plans for a pumpkin patch visit and a wedding this weekend (including a night in a hotel just the two of us). Had some good cries and really felt the weight of missing my mom and how profound that can feel. Man, we can really go through a lot in a week, can’t we?! Just a reminder to remember to breathe and take care of you as well - I took a little afternoon break one of the days (hey, an hour is better than nothing) and made Lola and I a comforting homemade tomato soup and grilled cheese with the fireplace on. It’s the little things.

😭 A bittersweet goodbye

Lola is leaving the daycare she had been at since she was newly one year old and it’s been so emotional… for me! Lola seems honestly ok with it but she has seemingly been quite resilient and one to roll with most things (I don’t know if that’s normal so maybe you’re saying duh, she’s 4 lol). I wanted her daycare teacher to know how special she and her family have been to us, how much I appreciate her and obviously what a huge impact she has made on Lola, so we made special cards for her and each family member (it’s a home daycare). I even recorded her drawing the pic of each of them on their individual cars so they could see the thought process of how she explained it. I hope it’s a meaningful keepsake to them! Obviously, I also got her a real present to balance it out because like, a homemade card is nice and all, but a treat just for her is essential. I’m always amazed how moms ride the wave of all of these changes and evolutions in motherhood!!!

🍅 Tomato Soup moment

I found a new standby soup just in time for soup season, and it’s one Lola loves. Tomato soup! Nothing brings back those cozy childhood memories like cracking open a can of condensed Campbells Tomato Soup (tell me you’re an 80’s baby!). Well, this one is even better homemade and here’s how I whip it up - I know tomato soup isn’t groundbreaking, but a good back to basics moment:

Serves 2 (easy to double or triple)

Olive or avocado oil (my new fave)
1 tbsp butter 
1/2 large yellow onion
2 cloves garlic
2 large tomatoes or one pint cherry tomatoes
1/2 carton of chicken or veg stock
1/2 tsp each dried oregano and basil
Half and half to taste
Salt to taste

Sauté onion, garlic and spices in oil and butter. Add in tomatoes with spices until they burst and soften, add a pinch of salt. Add the remaining ingredients except cream. Simmer for 30 mins to get those flavours developed. Take off heat and add cream. Blend in blender or use immersion blender until silky. If it is too thick, add more stock - I like mine on the thinner side. Serve with grilled cheese for more cozy and extra brownie points. 

✨Things I’m loving right now

I ordered this new lunch kit for Lola, now that we will be making lunch for her, to take to school and it’s not just adorbs but I love how it has a warm little thermos component in case I want to over do it and send something hot

I’ve been LIVING in my denim coat, and I love it! It’s a different kind of cut from your usual, and it’s gonna be a wardrobe workhorse, I just know it. This is the one I have, but only a lighter colour is in stock. This is one and this is one I would buy!

That’s it for this week. If you like this content, don’t forget to show up for me with a like or comment. Huge thank you to Jon, Ashley, Sarah, Alysha, Shannon and Ashlee for the comments on my last post.

xx, Erin

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